The dream is dead

There are people all around the world suffering from diseases. Aids, Ebola, Small Pox, Herpes, Gout... Sometimes I wonder if it would be worth it to stop drinking to stop inflaming my gout. Then I get pissed! 

Swagger Like Me

I've taken a look at my life and decided it's time for a change. That's right. It must be a Thursday. I really feel like I've found my true calling this time though. Forget selling cars, running electrical wire, tech support, and hooking. I'm going to pursue a thug life. That's right. Professional rapper Joshy-JBrizzle.

I've taken it upon myself to start putting my thoughts to paper first here on my blog and now to melodies and beats. This is my first song I've written and when I sing it, I spit hot fire. Like Mario.

"Dear Waitress from that Bar Tonight"

Welcome to the worst day of your life. I'll have a beer.

You haven't met me yet, and trust me it's all down hill from here.

I make it a point to piss off every girl I meet.

And I make it a point to seduce every girl I beat.

Imma punch you in the gut! Punch you in the ear!

And while you scream, I'll yell "Where the hell is my beer?!"

Imma punch you in the throat. Bring out them tears!

And when you think it's all over, Imma take it to the rear!

What's that now? You like my blue eyes?

Well just so you know, these ain't contacts, surprise!

You like my car too. It's fast and sexy, you say?

That's right you like it. And just because it's a Miata doesn't make me gay!

Imma punch you in the ribs, bring you to your knees.

And when you start to cry and plead with me "Pleeease!"

Imma punch you in the face. Twice. Three Times. No, Four!

And after I'm done, you're gonna be my whore.

I hope you enjoyed it. Obviously, it's a joke. I would never punch a girl. And driving a Miata does make me gay.

The Shit Life

Sometimes I feel like running naked into the street and getting hit by a semi truck. As you know I love living in North Carolina. I party every night at the hottest spots in town. I barely get to sleep there's just so much to do! Not to mention there are girls everywhere!

If you haven't caught onto the sarcasm yet, I invite you to run naked into traffic with me. North Carolina sucks. There's nothing to do, no one here my age, and it smells like a hamster cage. Sometimes I feel like I am all alone in this world! Then I remember I'll always have Monica.

I'm So Angry!

Sometimes I just want to punch a wall and break every bone in my hand. Or if it's a house that I helped make 2 years ago, I'd probably just punch right through the wall. Don't hire me to do your shitty house construction. There are several more well deserving Mexicans out there who will do the job for a dollar less than me. If you're going to hire me, it better be as a bartender or a surgeon cause no matter what I'm going to be drinking on the job. The alcohol helps to calm my rage.

I find that I'm constant pissed off and everything except when I'm drunk or watching 'Driving Miss Daisy'. For some reason that movie just soothes my disgruntled spirit. Maybe because it's about driving cars. I love cars.